Why I Write About Second Life Virtual Sex | An Intimate Journey

Last Updated on: 18th July 2024, 07:01 pm

I recently found myself engrossed in a conversation with a friend while playing Final Fantasy 14 during my hiatus. (Yes, I’m still on that hiatus but this subject put my mind in overdrive, so I had to write about it.) We chatted about various topics until the conversation turned to hobbies and our online activities. Naturally, I began sharing the details of my Second Life adventures, my blog, and my many sex escapades within that virtual world. As soon as I showed her some of my posts, she asked a question that no one had ever asked me before: “Why sex? Why not write about everything else in Second Life?

Initially, her question annoyed me. How dare she question my choices? However, her question lingered in my mind, making me think about it deeply. What are my reasons for writing about sex? Even in 2024, discussing sex remains a taboo topic. Additionally, my writing style isn’t exactly sensual or erotic; I prefer a raw, unfiltered approach. So, why do I choose to write about sex in Second Life? Today, I’m going to answer that question as thoroughly as I can.

An avatar exploring new fantasies in Second Life virtual sex.

A Healthy Sex Life Interrupted

Before the Covid outbreak, my real-life sex life was always healthy and fulfilling. Online sex never even crossed my mind. It was the farthest thing from anything I ever considered. Since I’ve previously detailed the lead-up to my journey into Second Life, I’ll revisit it only briefly here. For most of my life, virtual sex held no appeal for me whatsoever.

The Stigma of Virtual Sex

Virtual sex has always carried a negative stigma. When I was younger, my friends and I would frequent AOL chat rooms, laughing at people who engaged in “cyber sex.” It seemed ridiculous to us. Then came MSN Messenger. My first proper boyfriend and I would chat every night on MSN. I remember one particular night vividly. We had been out with a group of friends, and I ended up giving him a blowjob behind a row of houses. Later that night, at home, we were talking on MSN Messenger. He wanted to get a bit more adventurous, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Put a dick in my mouth and I’ll suck it, but back then, if you had asked me to get sexual over text or MSN, I would clam up. It felt embarrassing, overwhelming, and foolish.

Early Sexual Inhibitions

I never fully understood why I felt that way or what made me look at it with such embarrassment. I avoided it at all costs. It wasn’t until my early twenties that I felt comfortable even with sexting. Even then, it was never anything intense, just flirty seduction like “wait until you get home.”

These days, I write very candidly about my virtual sex life and about Second Life. I have written hundreds and hundreds of posts on this website. Posts that describe me using Lovense, engaging in back alley escapades, or getting fucked by three men at once. All of it is a far cry from the younger me who was so repulsed by the idea of sending a simple “I want your dick” text.

Avatars exploring different aspects of Second Life virtual sex.

Societal Expectations and Personal Growth

Part of me believes that societal expectations about women being modest and reserved about our sexual lives contributed to my younger self’s inhibitions. Raised in a Catholic family (though I have no religion now), the outlook was very much “sex is bad and only for procreation.” Maybe that contributed to the idea that anything written would be seen by someone and judged harshly. Yet, I was always sexually active and had many partners by the time I graduated from university. Despite this, I still couldn’t write a simple text with sexual content.

In some ways, I now regret it. I regret all the experiences I missed out on. I wasn’t in control of my own sexual narrative back then; I was following what society expected of me. But now, I have complete control over my sexual narrative. My sexual identity is mine. It’s beautiful and public for all to see. At least my online sex life is. I’m still not starting an OnlyFans or trying to be a pornstar in real life, but online, I can write, explore, and experience so many things.

The Reality of Virtual Sex

Virtual sex is incomparable to anything else because of how cerebral it is and that’s partly why I love Second Life. That is the most truthful statement I can make. I despise the notion that sex is considered a taboo topic even in 2024. It’s healthy to talk about, and it doesn’t need to be all fantasized glamour. Sure, I could take my virtual experiences and polish them up. I could write about how his eyes burned into my soul and the touch of his hand sent shivers through my body. I could create a narrative defined as sensual and fake. However, the reality is that sex is messy, awkward, and raw. I’ve had countless real-life sexual partners, and not once has it been a smooth, movie-style encounter. There are limbs everywhere, sweat, grunts, moans, awkward moments, and leg cramps. So why would I write a glamorized version of the virtual equivalent? I can’t. In my mind, it’s always raw.

An intimate moment captured in Second Life virtual sex.

Destigmatizing Virtual Sex

People should never be embarrassed or ashamed of sharing their virtual sexual experiences. Exploring parts of your sexuality that might be out of reach in the real world is healthy. More importantly, it’s time to destigmatize sex as a whole. We need to discard the societal belief that women are reserved and timid while men are perpetually horny. Human sexuality is stark and unvarnished, and this applies to virtual worlds too. There are harsh realities, endless pitfalls, expectations, and complexities that you don’t expect.

The Beauty of Human Sexuality

All of this amounts to something that is truly beautiful. My work involves more than just writing about sex. I receive notecards and IMs from people thanking me for a post that helped them. I meet individuals who share similar sexual experiences. And then, there are those who simply can’t accept it. Take the Second Life forums, for example. When the Lovense Viewer was released, some forum users were horrified by the idea of Second Life sex. It’s astounding. I understand that everyone has different tastes, but I can never comprehend why people who can actively avoid these things choose to read or visit places dedicated to them only to complain about them.

Exploring intimate moments in Second Life virtual sex.

Embracing Sexual Autonomy

We have our own sexual autonomy and equality. Nobody can take that away from us, whether they are of the same or another gender. What I do is my choice, and I no longer care about negative opinions. However, there are people out there who let these opinions affect them, and they shouldn’t. The younger version of me was so ashamed of being sexual in text and online due to societal expectations. Now, I see the importance of transparency and exploration. If I ran a bar in my hometown that charged money for sex and let customers fuck bar staff on the beach, then yes, the law would be a different story. But online, we aren’t bound by those same laws and regulations. We have the ability to be explorative, candid, and gain new self-awareness and personal growth, both sexually and non-sexually.

Reclaiming My Sexual Narrative

We have the ability to connect with others who feel comfortable exploring these aspects of their lives. So, reclaim your own sexual narrative, assert control over your sexual identity, and disregard what anyone else thinks.

The Answer

To answer the question of why I write about sex in Second Life, the answer is both simple and complex. I do it because it’s empowering, authentic, educational, and fun. It raises awareness, destigmatizes sex, challenges norms, builds community, offers self-reflection, and above all, it’s incredibly enjoyable.

My Question To You

What are your thoughts on virtual sex in Second Life? Do you think it helps in exploring one’s sexual identity or do you find it overwhelming? Have you ever had an experience that changed your perspective on online sexual exploration? Share your stories and insights in the comments below!

Relevant Websites

  1. Utherverse: Top 15 Virtual Worlds for Adults
  2. Second Life: Adult Destinations
  3. SaplingCopr: 25 Amazing Games Like Second Life
  4. Verywell Health: Cybersex – Examples, Benefits, and Risks
  5. Chicago Reader: Cybersex and Sex Work in Second Life
  6. Lovense Life: Lovense Now Works in Second Life
  7. Second Life Official Site

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  1. Samantha Johnson

    I absolutely resonate with this! In today’s world, we shouldn’t stigmatize sex. Embracing our sexuality and continually discovering ourselves is magical. We only live once, so why not explore what brings us pleasure and happiness? Fantastic article!

  2. Richeza

    ~ Hi Jess! ~

    I’ve been exploring Second Life for a few years now, and the virtual sex aspect has been a fascinating journey. Just like you, I initially found the concept daunting and a bit embarrassing. However, over time, I’ve come to appreciate the freedom it offers. In Second Life, I’ve discovered a whole new dimension of intimacy and connection. It’s a space where I can explore fantasies and aspects of my sexuality that I might hesitate to in real life. The ability to create avatars and scenarios tailored to my own desires has been incredibly empowering. Plus, the community aspect is fantastic. I’ve met so many like-minded perverts who share similar interests and experience. One of the most liberating aspects of Second Life virtual sex, for myself, is the ability to detach from those expectations in the big~bad~real world. It’s a place where I can fully express myself without fear of judgment. Your candid writing about your experiences has been a great source of inspiration and validation for me. Thank you for being so candid and shedding light on the beauty and complexity of SLex.


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